Smiling Unknowingly

May 26, 2011
1:44am
I just decided to call in sick tomorrow...

I miss California. The Pier, the valley, the life… but mostly the people…


I was surfing youtube, found this song and that’s the first thing that came through my head… As soon as I heard those waves crashing onto Cali sands and saw Joseph glowing in the sunset with the Santa Monica Beach behind him… It made me want to wear a sweater, shades or maybe a beanie, jeans rolled up to my ankles, barefoot with my dunks dangling from my fingers as I stroll down the shore. The waves caress my feet and I smile unknowingly… because deep down I know life is good and God has his eye on me.

I look back at my life in California with so much love. I have so many fond memories… And as I plan my trip back to the golden state’s city of celebrity and glah-moore (if the PH embassy ever releases my new freaking passport!), I smile unknowingly… The edges of my lips curl up as the ghetto fabulous life of a not-so-Asian but no-so-American, dirt poor yet overly jovial, naively doe-eyed young college boy pretending to be a man flashes through my mind. Like watching the trailer of a low budget West Hollywood Indie flick shot in 9 days, I quickly reminisce the life I had back then…

Kimchi Tofu Soup and Pho 2000 at 3 in the morning, Panda Express and Barnes & Noble on Glendale Ave. J&J’s Dimsum and Korean BBQ with my Sis and Bro-in-law… My first real kiss on a futon on the floor of your typical Southern California apartment, my first real love and my first real love lost. Rage on Friday nights: Gameboi night. GCC and the Sierra Madre Dance Studio, rehearsals on pavement in front of Heritage, then Pink Berry froyo after. My first real job, my first real promotion, and my first real resignation. Hours and hours spent on 2, 5, 134, 110, 10, 101, 405…

LA was my playground – although we all know that I don’t play too much. Hahaha. But I learned a helluva lot… about school and work, life and love… I got to know myself, hidden under layers and layers of insecurities, self-deprecation and decisions… People around me got to know the real me and liked what they saw… and I learned that I was pretty nice guy if I just gave myself the chance. Not half bad.

Alas, I eventually left – forcefully so. But we all need to move on and, by nature of those two constantly moving hands, are forced to leave the past behind… Thankfully, I am fortunate enough to smile whenever I turn my head to see the path I have walked. So as I take it day by day and live the life of a man, I must say… those were a damn great 6 years. I had the time of my life. And now, I smile unknowingly.