My Room's a fucking mess...

Its a fucking ugly mess of memories and life... pictures on the floor, papers everywhere, six years running rampant in a closet-sized room. Even with the mess, my sister and I found some progress. I'm managed to pack most of my crap into 2 fairly sized boxes (each one about the size of my boss' office refridgerator). I've thrown away a lot of crap. Still need to throw away a lot of crap. But makes me feel a little sad that the last 6 years of my life fit neatly into 2 balikbayan boxes...

My last day in my century city room is the 30th of June. The end of the month. Monday. Then I move to my sis' house in Valencia before the trip back to Manila. Its becoming more and more real. I guess this is it. And you know what, packing sucks; sucks like a bird shit on your car after a car wash. It sucks more than that - like bird shit on your head after a shower. Packing sucks so much. I keep uncovering bits and pieces of my life. knick knacks that tell part of a story. Reciepts from a restaurants, tickets from a show, a paper plate lion from stepho. Then I have to decide, whether its truly worth it to keep that seemingly insignificant momento. Is it important enough to keep and ship 3000 miles? Who's to say... I don't even fucking know. I found a drawing my ex-boyfriend drew of me for me 3 years ago. I looked at it, smiled, then threw it away. I don't know if I'm going to regret that a year from now.

I've been going through the motions, you know. Packing. Trashing. Cleaning. But I try not to internalize too much. I think I'd go insane. What a fucking melodramatic bitch I am! Can't help it; it kinda comes with the territory.

Side note:
I like semi-colons. I think I use them properly. My English 101 professor Tiller taught me how to use them... No one uses them though. I think most people don't know how to so they just don't use 'em. I like semi-colons a lot. I'm going to use them more!

6 years; it goes by in a blink.

List Update

OK. alright... So its wednesday night. I figure, I should update this thing, now that I have it. I should really tell people I have it too. Will do that later, ya.

So I wanted to tell you about how I've been doing on my employment Haitus list. Here's what I've checked off so far...

13. Do something naked

14. Swim in AOS fountains

18. Eat at a C rated restaurant


Yes, Yes, I swam naked in the Ave. of the Stars fountain. No. 13 and No. 14 - Check. Pretty ridic'ulous, I know. Thanks to Jumee for coming and taking the pictures at the AOS and for Lewey for being naked with me!





As for No. 18. Eating at a C rated restaurant was super easy. I totally forgot that Daikokuya in Little Tokyo was rated a C.... Kinda gross but I love that place. The ramen is soooooooo good. But its rated a C and I'll probably get the runs for a day or two. But it was worth it. It was worth it to check something off the list!

Jacques-o-beam's Employment Haitus list of things to do

So they wouldn't let me call it the RIP Jacobeam list... but here it is:


1. Learn to ride a bike

2. Learn to surf

3. Expand blog

4. Start a website (spiderfight.com)

5. Hike to Hollywood sign and watch the sunset

6. Write a book of poems

7. Take road trips

8. Be an extra on a movie

9. Attend a live taping of a reality dance competition show

10. Find the “grander canyon”

11. Learn how not to be a such a melodramatic bitch

12. Help some one (buy a sandwich and a forty for a bum?)

13. Do something naked

14. Swim in AOS fountains

15. Eat at Panda 2-3 times a week

16. Visit Katie’s parents – go to lunch with Chuck

17. Eat a RAW meal

18. Eat at a C rated restaurant

19. Learn a magic trick…a good one.

20. Attend dance classes

21. Go to Yoga

22. Go see Kevin spin

More to come

Start of the end...?

So here I am. At the brink of saying goodbye... Maybe.


Tomorrow is quite possibly my last day at Lieberman. Potentially the start of the end of my life in here in Los Angeles. Yup, I was told this yesterday and it's definitely sunk in. Some say I'm handling it pretty well. I'm just trying really hard not to be a melodramatic bitch (No. 11).

So I just came back from watching a pretty awesome performance of Pippin. The musical was adapted to include Hip hop dance, a live spinning DJ, on stage orgies, Rap and Rock vocals, and was set old japan but Harajuki girl-ified (neon wigs and knee high boots). I have to say it was pretty amazing. My favorite lyric from that musical is:

"Rivers belong where they can ramble, Eagles belong where they can fly. I have to be where my spirit can run free. Gotta find my corner of the sky..."

Just felt poignantly appropriate. Made me feel better... It still tough though.

I think the hardest part is telling people. "Hey btw, I'm not going to be at my desk on monday... coz I'm not allowed to work in America anymore..." I hate saying a goodbyes. And even though its not really goodbye yet. It still sucks. I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss it all. a lot. so much. The free food. the work. and the people. specially the people... I love em! And I love who I have become because of being here.

Goddammit. Goddam American bureaucratic bull! Hurry the eff up already. Let me in aMerikA!!!