Wednesday July 16 - 2:01am
They just turned off the fasten seatbelt sign. We’re flying somewhere over Santa Barbara or something… It Cuh-razy!!!! You don’t even know.
Six fucking years.
It took forever for us to take off. But I guess that happens on all flights. When the plane finally started to pick up speed on that runway, I had the weirdest butterflies in my stomach. I don’t think I’ve ever had this species of butterfly before. And I don’t think I’m going to try to self analyze right now and try to figure out what these little peptic creepy crawlies really mean…
The plane sped up. The friction of the wheels on the pavement cause the plane to shake. All I saw were the orange airport lights framed in my window, quickly jetting passed. Then you feel yourself unconsciously lean back - the front wheels have just left the ground. And before you know it, that jittery shaking is gone. The plane is in the air and I have officially left Los Angeles.
Six year. How do you leave that? How do you say goodbye to that?
Fuck. Oh god.
I have so much to say… and so many people to say it to. The feelings are over-flowing. I don’t know where to start. I don’t even know if I can start or what will happen when I finally deal with all this crap. Right now, all the feelings are packed in a big black box, duct taped shut, placed on the top shelf in the deep darkest part of my crazy head. I’ll deal with what this all means tomorrow. Or the next day. I’ll deal with it eventually…
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