Something Funky

October 14, 2008
11:19pm


I left work early today. And by early I mean 5:50pm (that’s Asia + Jacques’ over enthusiasm for you!). I left early coz I was feeling under the weather. At about 3-ish today, I started to feel weird. It was an awkward combination of fatigue, food comma, and digestive stress. I thought I was just tired. I was in the office till 10:00pm last night and then I went to have a drink with a friend. I didn’t really think much of it; I come from a family of stomach sensitive people so I’m quite used to the digestive gurgling of an upset tummy.

The next part is kinda gross so skip it if you’re sensitive to poop.

I get home, pass out for a good two hours only to be awaken by a twisting pain in my abdomen. I run to the toilet and unleash. It was like a faucet – a faucet that spewed out semi-chunky mud water. And it wasn’t a constant run of mud water, there were pockets of air through out. So the splatter-value was definitely at a high.

I ate something funky.

I feel like shit right out. The culprit: Magic Work Thai restaurant on Stamford and Victoria. I had eaten there once before and felt fine. But this time was different. A few of my co-workers and I went there for lunch today, and as I skimmed through the menu I saw something oddly familiar. Boneless chicken in orange Thai sauce. I had the waitress describe it to me and she said something to the effect of, “boneless pieces of chicken fried in a crispy batter then sautéed in an orange glaze.” Heaven I thought. Panda Express was sending me a sign from across the pacific. So I ordered it. It was disappointing, edible yet disappointing. But come on really, anything else will pale in comparison to the original.

So now I’m here in bed, rolled into fetal position, listening to some classic Matchbox 20, and typing on my blog. I am refraining from farting in fear of sharting. And I’m losing electrolytes pretty quickly.

But hark, I am trying to fight it! I walked to the 7-11 and bought a few bottles of Yakult! Lacotusilus Shirota Strain!!! I’m downing them like Mel in Malibu to allow the good bacteria to fight the evil fake orange chicken that has taken hostage of my poor tummy. Go little Shirota soldiers! I also bought a competitor brand just coz I thought it was cool!

Anyways wish my little digestive bacteria well. Hopefully, I’ll be better tomorrow.