9:51pm
It almost 10pm and I should leave for the Airport soon... My flight's at 00:15am, so I still have time... I'm hesitant to go, and yet I know I need to... To get away. To stop thinking. To get some sleep.
The last week has been an amazing, scary, unbelievable, immoral surreality. Sometimes when I lay awake at night, I am convinced that it all wasn't real. That it was all just a dream and life was still as simple as it was before all that fuzziness kicked in... before the sparks... before I asked why it didn't happen sooner.
But it did happen. And things are messy now. And I don't know how I feel. And I don't know what to do. The whole thing is neither here nor there - somewhere in between - and I don't know what to do... So I shall run. Go back to home and figure this shit out.
In the meantime, I clasp on to that piece of metal dangling onto my chest and I will bask in this unexplanable feeling... an amalgamation of butterflies, guilt, envy, longing, nostalgia, and hope. I'll see you when I get back...
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